Getting the perfect buttocks.
March 2nd, 2008 » 268 viewsSometimes, I wish my face, arms, legs and belly would have the metabolic rate of my arse. My arse is so bony it’s not even funny. Beats me why my buttocks are so flat. It’s definitely genetic because no woman on my Mom or Dad’s side have perky bottoms I could envy.
While I have a voluptuous sounding stat of a 36″ hip, it’s all a farce. Yes I may have really wide hips but if you view me from the side, I look like a freakin’ pole. Sigh….
You know, I wish I had an arse like this. You can clearly see where the leg ends and the arse starts. Behold, the perfect fold.
The butt cheeks, shaped like a tear drop flowing down the legs. I WANTTTTTTT!
Unfortunately, I’ll never have an arse. I can only contend with a pair of legs with hurmmm, a passage for expelling shit :(
No wonder I don’t have any picture of me and my flat derrière. Only this one, taken eons ago at my college prom.
Arse-less.
But my woes and worries will soon be a think of the past, as I’ve discovered one of the greatest inventions ever that has reached our shores. Our Malaysia, where everything….socially, culturally and politically are late by at least 13 years. Check out these granny pants:
Granny pants.
Would you buy em? Would you wear em? No, no? Too bad….cause I WOULD SO WEAR IT!
Now, don’t be so quick to judge me or my pants. As innocent as the RM29.90, beige and 100% nylon gramps undies looks, it’s really a very sophisticated pair of underwear.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
Paddings for the arse.
Now who needs plastic surgery? I can confidently strike off my one of my goals-before-35, “get butt cheek implants”. Simple and cheap buttock pads….why hadn’t I think of that?
Here’s an illustration of my physique with gramp pants on.
Instant butt lift.
I’m getting 7 pairs for Monday to Sunday :)
Tags: arse, flat ass, flat backside, flat buttocks
Related Entries
-
- Skipping class is a sin. Read to find out why.
- Most fantastic video ever.
- Happy list.
- I couldn’t be a psychobitch. I’m perfect.
- i wanna strangle something.
- Making glutinous rice balls (tong yuen)
March 2nd, 2008 at 2:28 pm
Erm, nono I think you’d better not wear them if they’re so spherical in nature. Like a bowl wtf.
March 2nd, 2008 at 2:56 pm
Hah, this screams GOTCHA to the butt pinching molesters.
March 2nd, 2008 at 2:57 pm
who needs underwear support when we have photoshop~ :D
March 2nd, 2008 at 4:58 pm
lol, your bf’s lucky to never have to get the question: “Honey, does my arse look fat?”
March 2nd, 2008 at 8:52 pm
Miracle panties! =D
March 2nd, 2008 at 10:04 pm
sheesh, feel free to help yourself to some of mine if u like ;p
your arse is just fine the way they are. Y’know how they say chinese gals got no arse, bollocks. I’m flat from top till midway until Everest Arse.
count ur blessings babe ;)
March 3rd, 2008 at 10:56 am
Haha. Take a pic of the ‘real thing’ for us, will ya? I’d like to see if it’s as discreet as I’d like it to be. =p
March 3rd, 2008 at 12:50 pm
Haha, you exaggerate la! Your butt looks perfectly fine in your prom picture! (the ‘before’ one, not the ‘after’ one wtf). And HAHAHA, now I have a name for what I have always wanted– BUTT FOLD!!! Hahaha!
March 4th, 2008 at 8:37 am
Why would you want to have a bigger than life butt? Trust me, it is not that nice…. Donald ducks are for kids… Hehehe…
Well, if you are a chinese, the chances are you will have a flat ass…. i suppose it is in the genes… unless of course, some divine intervention or lightning strike during the merger of chromosome la.
March 4th, 2008 at 10:15 am
dr.tan: bowl shape is good!
shadowfox: lmao. actually, getting my skinny arse pinched is quite close to a GOTCHA moment for a molestor too -_-
nicole: lol but how about IRL?
nicholas: he’s only lucky in that department. i have a lot of other complaints too hahah
beeneee: tell me about it hehe
belle: lmao reading your comment! and trust me, i would help myself to some of yours if i could!
pamsong: hehehhe u could try it at ikano’s outlet shop (next to padini)
huiwen: butt fold ftw!
notty gurl: im hoping to live my perky arse dream through my daughter. but judging by my man’s arse…sigh -_-
May 20th, 2008 at 9:27 pm
Hey! Where did you see those clever inventions? :)