While they chop, boil and whisk in clean feminine dresses, perfect posture with hair perfectly coiffed & nails perfectly manicured, I am trying to balance multiple beads of sweat on my flat Asian nose hoping they won’t fall into the damned batter.

Even when they are frazzled, they get frazzled so stylishly.

Cue, boyfriend’s shirt falling off the shoulders, revealing just enough.

Cue, single pearl of sweat, which only runs down one’s cleavage but nowhere else.

Cue, clean fingers pushing soft, voluminous hair away from delicate forehead.

HOW DO THEY DO IT? Is there a school that I could go to!?

# – Seriously?

When I cook, I wear the ugliest t-shirt I can get my hands on because I won’t feel bad if it gets soiled.

I do wear boyfriend’s husband’s t-shirts, but only because they’re free and loose and comfortable.

I tie my hair up because it’s warm though I wish it could look fashionable, it doesn’t.

I wear a hairnet so I won’t get poked in the eye by a stray strand while pouring hot liquid into a different bowl.

I wear a bandanna sometimes to prevent my sweat from contaminating the food.

Have I mentioned that I wear a hairnet?

# – A scene of horror. Pic from Huai Bin.

Please tell me I’m not alone -_-

+++

Gawd everytime I scroll down and see the kitchen picture above I freak myself out. So here’s one where I don’t freak myself out so much :P

Bad, bad, bad blogger!

Taking pictures is such a time-consuming activity, especially when you want to capture something properly. Maybe I should stop relying on my phone so much, it’s actually pretty useless as a camera and it’s putting me off from taking pictures :P

That said, here are some pictures taken by my phone of semi-significant moments which I have made significant because they have appeared on my blog:

# – G vs pink chair.

We were at this restaurant in SS2. I think G was mostly sitting in the air while trying to avoid breaking the tiny pink chair. The chairs were small even by my standard.

We’re avoiding the restaurant until they change the furniture. You don’t know how important it is to eat without worrying about falling on your ass with your mouth full, after breaking a chair until you’re on the verge of pulling one.

# – Breakfast.

Smoked salmon & omelette on toasts made by G for me. Just cause it was so tasty :)

# – I will break your face.

Got it while idling in a shopping mall waiting for Sherlock Holmes 2 to start. Movie was meh, ring’s awesome. I never really wore rings but since wearing a rock, I feel like my fingers are a little too bare. Weird but true.

Besides the aesthetics, I find the design incredibly practical should anyone try to nick my rock. Rest assure I will use it properly if it comes down.

# – The spaceship has landed.

Inherited this curious thing from my momsy. If you don’t know what it is, it’s an old school hair steamer. When I was young, I used to stick my entire head into it to steam my face. It’s nice.

Mom gave it to me in preparation for my wedding. She thinks I should steam my hair in cream and stuff to make it beautiful and shiny when I walk down the aisle. Thanks mom.

Just checked to see whether my entire head still fits inside. It does. Once again I am plagued by worries as to why my head hasn’t grown in size.

Looking through my list, I think I did pretty well! 7 out of 13 resolutions accomplished. Most of the big ticket items were struck out, so it’s not too bad. *pats self on the shoulder*

• Get a diving license (so I can quit snorkelling and do the real thing with mah peeps).

DONE! Best thing I’ve ever done for myself. Love being underwater! Love being at the beach!

• Pimp up my ride (change the body kit, put in a sweet stereo system, install anti-roll bar, noise-proofing, maybeeee repaint :D).
• Drive to Thailand.
• Dive in Thailand.

DONE! Koh Lipe ftw :D

• Dive in Philippines.
• Dye my hair (the last time I did it was 10 years ago out of rebellion, this time I’d be doing it to obscure my bald patch. FML).

DONE! 3 times in fact. Cut it short summore…so brave!

• Get proper singing lessons (because I don’t want to waste these great genes, ahem).
• Get proper sewing lessons (so I can sew in a straight line).
• Refurbish at least one furniture (my contribution the the environment and my ego).

DONE! Painted a table silver and along the way painted my porch as well which led to G being angsty at me for a few days. I had to get on my knees to scrub paint off for a few hours before he would stop throwing me dirty looks :(


• Throw out all my current shoes and replace them with new ones (to be honest, I’d probably do this before the year ends :P).

DONE! Got some old favourites which I have kept because they still look mint. Got money also cannot waste like that right?

• Run everyday (so Charlie can run instead of walk alongside me, so my heart can be strong & healthy despite the truck load of pork I’ll be consuming and finally, so money on that treadmill won’t be burnt :P)
• I almost forgot shopping for new clothes, FML.

DONE! Not as much as I like but good enough :D


• And lastly, bake a fucking bundt cake!!!!

DONE! Baked more than just a bundt cake, I made LOADS of food!

So for the year 2012…

1. I vow to strike out all the unfulfilled resolutions in 2011 above (all 6 of them).
2. I vow to get my eyesight fixed with Lasik.
3. I vow to make a crockenbouche.
4. I vow to take care of my hair a little better than I normally do.
5. I vow to travel more.
6. I vow to print and hang pictures on our currently empty walls.
7. I vow to read at least one book a month.
8. I vow to be positive and optimistic.
9. I vow to be forgiving and patient.
10. I vow to be grateful and thankful for everything, no matter how trivial.
11. Dig a hole in my backyard so when the world ends, I can hide in it.

Kidding about the last one.

Only 16 resolutions altogether. Game on! Have a happy new year peeps!

My bags are packed, my diving gears are finally complete and I’m so excited about my first dive overseas I can’t even manage a power nap!

Anyway, this blog will probably not be updated since internet access will be sketchy at best. I implore you to subscribe to my RSS so that you’d know when I’m back.

Don’t miss me too much. #perasan

Actually, calling Noel Fitzpatrick a vet is somewhat an understatement. While the average vet would recommend putting pets to sleep for seemingly difficult but curable ailments, Fitzpatrick never goes down that road. He’s a real life HERO!

(Fan girl alert :P)

I wish there were expertise as high level as his in Malaysia or even somewhere nearer like Singapore. I envy pet owners who live nearby to his practice, which is located in Surrey, England. Must be comforting to know that there’s someone so dedicated and brilliant and passionate around to turn to IF your beloved pet should encounter any issue.

The BF said it might not be a very good show for me to watch though, because when I do, I bawl like crazy. Dogs are so amazing, they can be in excruciating pain (which is so hard to watch) but their face light up (hello, waterworks) the instance their owners call out their names :(

Alright sorry, I know I’m so channeling dog lady right now. Can’t help myself. Speaking of dogs, I attended the prize-giving ceremony for Purina ONE Picture of Health about 2 weeks ago.

Bad news, I didn’t win. Good news, there were so many ADORABLE DOGS!

# – This labrador was super duper well-behaved.

# – Me and camera-shy Charlie. So effing hard to take a picture of him still T_T

Congratulations to the winners! We need more contests for dog owners hehehe.

On another note, this morning I appeared on NTV7 The Breakfast Show with Pete and Fixaa, founders of Reach Out. I was there to talk about my experience distributing food to the homeless.

I was glad to share, though I was freaking out inside (stage fright). Naz and Aishah Sinclair, the hosts were very nice, which helped in alleviating my nerves.

By the way, the in-house stylist gave me newscaster hair. I loved it!

# – Volume, baby.

After that, I called my mom (who proudly announced on her Facebook profile that she’s watched me on the tele) to ask her how I did on national television. She’s like, “Hmmm, your top made you looked a bit big la”.

I know right? T_T

But all is forgiven, cause she and Dad dropped by my house just now bearing a large container of braised pork <3

Before I end this post, here's a picture of Charlie's head on my crotch.

Caption it?

P/S: Psyching myself to blog about food soon. If it helps, you can check out my previous recipes ALL HERE! Sorry for the intermittence :(

p/s: I’m slowly coming out of it already obviously because I’ve actually published this.

I had absolutely no patience for anyone, not even for the BF. I didn’t cook for over 7 days, we were eating crap food outside and that too probably contributed to my bad mood. I think I gained 3 kilos – I can’t be sure cause I refused to weigh myself. I had a blackened pimple scar on my face that made me see Timothy Tiah when I looked into the mirror (sorry Tim, I couldn’t work it like you).

But I’m feeling better now. I always feel better after a phase of darkness. It’s still work-in-progress, trying to stay positive and optimistic.

It’s not all glum & gloom though, I did have moments where I completely enjoyed myself. Like the steamboat session at Cass’ beautiful home. Cass went all out in indulging us with scallops, marbled beef slices, lamb, the whole deal. Best steamboat ever! <3

# - Most awesome steamboat!

I took the opportunity to bring a cake. Had always wanted to re-create the famous Alexis tiramisu cake, so that’s exactly what I attempted. As it’s my very first time making it, I had no idea whether the soft cheese filling would set or not.

# – It was a moment of triumph when I successfully removed the cake mould without it crumbling into a sloppy mess.

# – Then I sprinkled chopped homemade hazelnut and almond pralines all over it. I think I was pouting cause everybody kept nicking the nuts!

# – End result.

The BF said it was an excellent attempt. Of course, being very self-critical I think the sponge needed to be fluffier, the chopped chocolates in the middle needed to be bigger & rougher, the cake needed more alcohol and I needed to devise a more manageable cheese filling. The only thing I was happy with were the nut pralines :P

Then there was a Halloween party which I had to attend. I thought I was going to go as Vagrant Woman (read: tattered tee, my Donald Duck shorts and the hair net that I wore to Cass’ above) until I was inspired to make a black tiara which eventually led me to dress up as Budget Black Swan.

# – Looping cable ties around a black plastic hairband.

# – Then, cut them into tiara shape!

# – Budget Black Swan, DONE! BTW, I followed this makeup tutorial.

That’s all. Bye.

“Make nipples colour soft”.

Pink nipples? Is this some kind of male fetish or yet another stupid shit perpetrated by women themselves? Because I honestly don’t know that there’s a demand for pink coloured aureolas either.

I can understand if it’s a product to remove hair from nipples or to shrink the size of nipples (confession: large nipples freak me out) but to dye it pink?

Please enlighten me?

On a different note, I found a Coca-cola flavoured lip balm.

I bought it. It smells vaguely of coke but it doesn’t taste of anything. And the brownish tint makes my lips look diseased.

FTS.

Being an Apple product user for the first time is an unusual experience. First thing to enter your mind would be, “OMG where on earth have I been all this while!?”. Then, there’s the never-ending pleasant surprises of how everything just works. They just work! Not to mention the amazing, mind-blowing, super sleek graphics…..always ahead of its time.

Even for features that have existed long before in other products, Apple, under Steve Job’s direction still manages to make them sound new, awesome and cool. It’s no easy feat to come up with stuff like that, it took a ridiculously intelligent man with balls of steel and a fucking good taste to make it happen.

I’m still not a fan of Apple (something to do with Android). But there’s no denial that I felt a little taken aback when his death was announced. There’s no denial that I feel his was a life that ended way too soon. There’s no denial that I managed to feel some melancholy from the news.

However, I think I moved on about an hour after hearing of his passing, mumbled a little atheist prayer and then went grocery shopping. That’s probably what Steve Jobs would have done for a dead person that impressed him too. Except instead of grocery shopping, he’d make something that kicks your ass so hard you wouldn’t know where it’s landed.

# – A bowl of spit, served with a half boiled egg, gingko nuts and syrup.

Surprisingly, I wasn’t shocked or disgusted. I guess I’ve always been quite gungho and adventurous when it comes to food, I even had a very specific goal of eating dog meat (that’s before I own a dog and vehemently hated pets).

I no longer want to eat dogs and the thought of it and other people doing it truly makes my stomach churns.

# – Mind boggling variety of bird’s nest. The staff tried to convince me to try something that cost a few hundred Ringgit a bowl. Tough luck.

Today I spoke to a friend who’s in China now to study the language and he told me he couldn’t eat pork anymore because his neighbour owns a teacup pig. I can so totally relate.

As much as I really want to own a teacup pig, please don’t give me a teacup pig because I will just stop eating pork, sorry #porkgang. They are so freaking cute!!!!!

# – I went for the cheapest one, RM30 a bowl. I liked that you could control the sweetness of the soup.

Anyway, this was about bird’s nest isn’t it? Sorry about the digression. I just wanted to post some pictures of me eating bird’s spit. I do not have anything intellectual or insightful to speak about this experience of mine.

# – Actually I was most excited about eating the half-boiled egg. Arguably, the bird’s nest made the egg even silkier and tastier.

Have a good weekend, peeps!

Burapa Bird’s Nest
Thanon Plaeng Nam, Samphanthawong,
Bangkok 10100, Thailand.