Just woke up. Pulled an all nighter and only got to about 4100 words. My aim now is to finish it by dawn.

This afternoon, while I was still asleep, I was awaken by a phonecall from Mom. Apparently she wanted to talk to my brother but couldn’t get through our house phone so she called my handphone to ask what’s wrong. I went down groggily to check on the phone and looked for my brother. I found the telephone receiver misplaced and my brother was nowhere to be seen. Suddenly, panic set in. I didn’t dare to go to my kitchen (cause you could have a bunch of people hiding in the corner) without my handphone and pepperspray. I was like -this- sure my brother was kidnapped or being held in the kitchen or something.

Before I stepped into the kitchen, my Mom called the housephone. I picked it up and cried into the phone, “Mee, Nicklaus’ missing! He’s not home! What happened?”. Then my Mom was like, “Oh, I found him. He’s at some friend’s house nearby”. I was a bit dumbfucked. Why didn’t she call his handphone like before she woke me up from my precious slumber? Why didn’t I call his handphone when I thought he’s missing?

I’m too engrossed with myself that sometimes I forgot that my brother is growing up. It’s a weird thing to know that he’s going out on his own, buying his own movie tickets, cooking and stuff. It’s just weird.

This is even weirder. I’m actually finding solace in that he still needs me to chauffer him around to places he wants to go. I don’t know why I panicked the way I did. Maybe it’s the lack of sleep or maybe I’m just not ready to see my brother becoming independent or maybe I’m not ready to be cast out as the big sister yet.

++ Edit ++

Okay, I procrastinated. Watched The Human Stain on HBO instead. Got me teared up so yeah, I think it’s a good movie, not fantastic. Best line I’ve ever heard from a movie though…

“People are just getting dumber, but more opinionated”.

I laughed out loud upon hearing that.

++ /Edit ++