This morning, I made silent vows that I will pop up at 6am to hit the gym. But as evening came, I drank a mug of detox tea. Well, you see, you really don’t want to be power stepping with a weak bowel. Then, since I am supposed to wake up at 6am, I really ought to be in bed now. But here I am blogging instead. It’s very likely I’m chronically self-destructive.

I’m in a constant state of fear nowadays. At the top of my list now is what I’ll do after graduation. It seems so easy to say what you want to do when you’re in school, but as the end of my idyllic student’s life fast approaches, I found myself becoming a little skeptical about accomplishing anything at all.

Is it just me or does everyone go through the same thing? I’ve said in a post some time ago that the last thing I want is to work half my life off and end up as a pseudo manager. I abhor mediocrity but on the other hand, I do enjoy a simple, carefree life. My problem is, most of the time I can’t differenciate between the two.

I told those who were crazy enough to seek my advice that smart people analyse but smarter people know when not to. Now I’m thinking, maybe when people analyse too much, the act itself is really just a way to unearth excuses. Excuses for avoiding venturing into the unknown.

As for myself, I seriously hope I’m really just analysing, not avoiding.