Got tagged by Suan. I love her so I’ll do this.
10 Words Determined Essay
The Golden Rules:
1) write an entry of between 100-200 words, with these words have to be included once, and only once:
- I
- me
- blowjob
- grapes
- random
- power
- loneliness
- water
- robot
- blue
2) Out of the 10 words, you can only change 2 words.
I didn’t change any.
3) Your essay must make some kind of sense. if it’s not cool, then it won’t get published…
My essay is so cool it freezes men’s balls.
4) Send to 5 people.
My Essay
I am a virgin. Don’t believe? Blowjob is my forte, nuf’ said. The secret is to treat the balls like how you would treat them grapes. Go to any random fruit stall, buy a bunch of the fruits. Observe the bunch and pick two of the juiciest and roundest ones you can find. Imagine the two pieces of fruits as your man’s balls. It might be difficult, but utilise the power of your imagination. If still faced with difficulties, imagine the loneliness awaiting if you fucked it up. Before yours truly forgot, soak in that bunch of unused fruits in a bowl of water to clean them off pesticide so that you could eat them later. Back to the two pieces of mock testicles, place them between your upper and lower teeth. Now, chomp down. You will observe that the fruits will burst but in real, testicles will most likely only turn blue. Practise this on your man, you could add some kinks by affixing your eyes with your man’s and continue chomping, sort of like a robot. Trust me, they love this shit.
Laynie said:
on January 14, 2006 at 4:58 am
lol. I’m sure they do.
admin: yeah they do! lol
jolene said:
on January 14, 2006 at 5:32 am
wrong. your essay is so cool that men’s balls will get chomped off.
admin: lol
S-Kay said:
on January 14, 2006 at 5:44 am
LOL..men will go nervous when they see their girl munching/chomping on grapes. They’ll prolly go, “Shit, my balls would be next”
admin: hehehehhehehe they shouldnt be nervous. it’s gonna be fuN!
howsy said:
on January 14, 2006 at 6:21 am
Why eat balls? They are full of fibrous tissue and virtually no nutritional value at all. Like the coconut, maybe try the juice inside. Remember to swallow, not spit, O.K.
admin: hehe won’t eat. just chew! swallow…spit….hrmm…*blur*
Peter said:
on January 14, 2006 at 9:50 am
Aiks…. I kena tagged.
admin: do it ahhhhhhhhhhh
alyssa said:
on January 14, 2006 at 12:32 pm
awesome! V impressive (although you used ‘I’ twice!)
-aly
admin: wow eagle eye! hehe changed already thanks
foodcrazee said:
on January 14, 2006 at 2:55 pm
chuckle ! good one there
admin: heheheh thanks
Dato' Cun said:
on January 14, 2006 at 4:36 pm
So why do you want to stay a virgin? Obviously you won’t have a problem getting laid. Maybe you’re really fussy. You make men get on their knees to beg you to see a little bit of grape because you hardly wear anything anyway and then tear their heart (or balls) out.
admin: hehehe asian values?
RoxyMoron said:
on January 14, 2006 at 7:26 pm
Munching on nuts, eh? And you have the nerve to criticize Wendy Cheng? She’s never written anything as dirty as this! SHAME ON YOU, but what the hell, typical Malaysian!
admin: yeah she didnt write anything as dirty and the cow jumped over the moon. what do you mean typical Malaysian? don’t try to pull in the issue of country, because you’re just implying that wendy cheng is a typical singaporean and boy, i don’t think any singaporean would want to be represented by her. anyway, what an appropriate nickname you’ve got there.
Dabido(Teflon) said:
on January 14, 2006 at 8:46 pm
The ball chomping reminds me of a friend I used to have years ago. He’s name is Peter, and he dated this Japanese girl we nicknamed Tigerlady.
Peter would always have all sorts of weird problems in bed with her, as she was the excessively violent type.
Like he’d be in pain, and we’d say, ‘What’s the matter Peter?’
‘Argh, Tigerlady ripped all the flesh of my arse again.’
One day the poor guy was in REAL agony.
‘What’s the matter Peter?’
‘Tigerlady BIT ME F***ING BALLS LAST NIGHT!’
Apparently she had, and not a little playful nip or anything. Apparently she bit down REALLY hard on the things … like she was trying to rip them off him.
They broke up after that.
admin: oh…so you boys know tigerlady too? heheheheh
Beefstew said:
on January 15, 2006 at 4:44 am
I can forgive you for not make into paragraphs but…
The best essay is encouraged to have some form of ILLUSTRATION. Don’t they teach this in school? Come on….
admin: hehe perve!
Kuzco said:
on January 15, 2006 at 11:02 pm
imagine the loneliness awaiting if you fucked it up.
hahahahahahahaaahhahahaaaa….hahahahhahaaaa….ah aha ah
admin: eheheh, not true?
shu said:
on January 16, 2006 at 12:34 am
wow.. it has been ages since i last visited ur site. didn’t even know u switched domains too.. well, nice to know that u’re still bloggin’. will check back here more frequently
admin: hey you! it’s been a long time…lol
kimfluttersby said:
on January 16, 2006 at 11:10 am
hi gurl, i’m back… and your blog looks so good. mine, on the other hand remains like that. how long ago have i said i wanted to changed the layout, skin and all. tsk tsk.
that’s a rather cute tag and it’s creative of you. i couldn’t stop laughing, esp the blue part. OUCH!
naughty girl.
admin: glad you’re back! hugs and mwahs! hehe you’re tagged!!!!!!!!!!
killuminati said:
on January 16, 2006 at 12:52 pm
ROTFLMAO
which is not cool in the office coz i’m supposed to be working.
admin: lol keep it low, man
KY said:
on January 16, 2006 at 2:55 pm
arg.. wtfbbq
admin:
aw said:
on January 16, 2006 at 9:44 pm
aiyo, Wendy Cheng wrote volumes on fucking and balls and dicks and masturbation and blowjobs. Check her archives. What the hell is that previous poster on about?
It has to be said I’m not worried about me balls getting chomped. Usually when the balls get hurt, it’s either on purpose (you forgot the 3rd week anniversary, you sop!) or the woman is just violent. It’s inexperienced sharp teeth on my Magic Stick I’m usually concerned about..
F’real though, I’ve been there and done that and not a horny teenager anymore, and I do respect a woman more if she has principles about holding off on sex. But not a prude who turns her nose up at funny dirty jokes or whatever.
admin: i share your sentiments heh. a friend once told me that he couldnt put his penis into anyone’s mouth eversince his ex treated it like a corn on the cob.
MLM said:
on January 16, 2006 at 10:05 pm
For you need to have at least 20 words for the essay. 10 is to easy for you..
Thanks for dropping by my site….
Blog on..
BR/MLM
admin: thanks for dropping by too!
jolene said:
on January 17, 2006 at 1:23 am
see! my boy’s one also kena already. http://www.livejournal.com/users/inkpots/30465.html. =p
admin: omg u didnt lol! babe, tried to comment my IP’s banned…sien
bottle said:
on January 23, 2006 at 3:27 am
20 words?!@ i might as well create a 30-must-use words, and 100-150 number of words limitation and you’ll still write good.
damnit