For the past 20 years, I’ve enjoyed reunion dinners at my paternal granny’s place. This year, the spat between my Mom and her mother-in-law reached its peak. Mom called me up one fine morning and asked whether we’d need to book an extra hotel room for the bf (yeah, she’s still in denial). So I was like, what for? And that was her cue to launch a barrage of complaints and grouses about my granny. I was still half-asleep but I managed to caught her suggestion (more like insistence) to join the reunion dinner this year at my maternal granny’s, her mother’s, in Mentakab (have you heard of this town? Shoutout to Eyeris from Temerloh, heh) instead.
Addendum: It’s a tradition in my family that reunion dinner and the first day of Chinese New Year are spent with the husband’s side of the family. Wife will only go home to her family on the 2nd day or later.
I was a bit taken aback, since during the last time I missed reunion dinner and Chinese New Year in Kuala Lumpur, it was a horrible, horrible experience. I’ve always enjoyed spending Chinese New Year in Kuala Lumpur, where most of my relatives are residing. I can’t bear missing out again, not even once on these fun times (read: angpows).
Anyway, Mom is Mom and no matter what I’ll always be her ally, so I agreed to her idea after making sure that my Dad too was okay with it.
Later on, I got another call from Mom. Apparently, the plan’s scratched. Turned out her own Mother forbade her to go home.
“You’re married. Come back on the 2nd day as usual. Don’t be disrespectful to your husband”
You know what I think, as much as my maternal granny’s attitude reeking of somewhat female self-deprecation, I think it’s important for someone in a family who could uphold traditions and culture. My Mom could do it, but she’s alway marred by emotions, my paternal granny is devoid of such capacity and me…I heed where the angpows are (just kidding).
My maternal granny is a strong woman who has been through a lot. She raised two children single-handedly amidst small town scandalmongers by doing odd jobs and tapping rubber to now owning her humble piece of rubber estate. All of us grandchildren respect and love her in spite of our utter dislike for her flawless ability to nag us till our earwax falls out. It was always a chore to talk to her when we’re younger, but now that we’re older, we could see that she’s just a woman who wants best for her offsprings. And for that reason, it’s a pleasure to just listen to her ramble. Sometimes she objects to our aspirations, not because she’s stupid, only because she was too poor to go to school. This is a woman who went to Europe by herself with only 4 english words, “toilet”, “thank you”, “water” and “hotel”.
I don’t know why I’m writing about my maternal granny. Maybe because I’ve just found out that she’s diagnosed with glaucoma and I’m feeling unhappy. The saddest part is that her diagnosis came so late because when she first had problems with her eyes, she had refused to tell her children. She didn’t want to trouble them. Do people still put others above themselves? I had stopped to believe, till I’m reminded of my own granny.
Lainie said:
on January 16, 2006 at 5:41 pm
hah…i had a few housemates from mentakab, so yes.
and as for the older generations and upholding values….well. you cina, i cina, no need to further elaborate i presume? i think it’s easier to go with the flow, till we’re old enough to be the decision makers on where the family spends cny.
admin: btw, i stopped clicking at the 4th site. lol
nicktay said:
on January 16, 2006 at 5:57 pm
Grandmothers rock! My maternal grandma was one of the greatest influences in my life. Having lost my mom at a very young age, I lived with my Grandma in India till i was 11, then came back to Malaysia. She would write to me so often, and her letters were always a fire that kept me going. She past away a few years ago, and I still miss her.
admin: sorry to hear about your loss. and i agree, grannies are the best!
KY said:
on January 16, 2006 at 5:58 pm
what happened to “for you only” section?
admin: malas.
eyeris said:
on January 16, 2006 at 6:06 pm
Temerloh & Mentakab best. Best Patin fish, that is. Everything else is bleh. haha
admin: lol, ever tried the wantanmee b4? surreal…in a bad way. lol
pelf said:
on January 16, 2006 at 6:33 pm
I have been spending the first day of CNY with my paternal relatives since the day I was born, a quarter of century ago. Mom continued the “tradition” eventhough my parents were separated like, 15 years ago.
admin: that’s cool. wonder if you’ve ever heard this malay saying, “biar mati anak, jangan mati adat” (it doesnt matter if your child died, don’t let your culture dies). didn’t get it when i was younger, but now i totally agree with it.
moz monster said:
on January 16, 2006 at 7:45 pm
At least u hv grandparents to visit … enjoy their company (and nagging) whilst its still possible (and let them enjoy your company too) … don’t leave any rooms for regrets later …
admin: i hear you
Fieran said:
on January 17, 2006 at 1:12 am
Yeah you’re lucky to have grandparents
admin: thanks babe. *hug*
Yatz said:
on January 17, 2006 at 2:44 am
hey kim..how u get to know my blog la.?!?! anyway..thanx for dropping-by..hahaha..
admin: lol got trackback mah!
Michael Chua said:
on January 17, 2006 at 9:56 am
Bet u r going to have a smashing good time in your upcoming reunion dinners again this year!
admin: i hope so! hopefully no plates flying over my head. lol
pelf said:
on January 17, 2006 at 10:12 am
Non-related.
Thanks for “spying” me. Glad you find the comic strips entertaining
admin: hey no prob! it’s a good post
S-Kay said:
on January 17, 2006 at 3:26 pm
Can’t wait till CNY this year. Yes, I’m spending CNY at my mom’s side this year! That’s where all the ang pows and fun are. Huahuahua. Anyway, my dad’s hometown is in Mantin, NS (if you guys heard of that place) and my mom’s at Kota Bharu so they usually take turns. One year in KB, next year in Mantin. So we alternate our frown (Mantin) and smile (KB) every CNY =P
admin: that’s a good system actually, but my dad’s side of the family is borderline anal. kick up a fuss if the sons spent CNY at their wive’s homes. but then, they encourage their own daughters to come home for CNY pulak. double standards, lol
Tiffany said:
on January 17, 2006 at 4:20 pm
This post reminded me of my ahma who also diagnosed with glaucoma and refused to tell anyone, until my cousin took her to a health checkup. Doctor said she was like living in the night of India (not a very funny joke thro). I m so sad, but thankfully, the operation was very successful. Ahma can even remind me to put on my earring before going out.
I love my ahma dearly. I m so sad I have disappoint her (many times now and then).
admin: I’m glad her operation was successful. My granny bought me little butterfly hairclips that my 6 yr old cousin won’t touch, but it’s really sweet! Don’t be sad, I’m sure she’s proud of you regardless of anything. Thanks for dropping by
anthraxxxx said:
on January 19, 2006 at 12:44 am
My granny’s cool, she listens to Beyond and Jay Chow!
Anyway I hope your granny will recuperate from her illness *hugs*
admin: thanks man. my granny is a big fan of F4. she’s got a poster in her room ok…
anthraxxxx said:
on January 19, 2006 at 6:01 pm
Now that you mentioned it, I remember my granny talked about F4 before. She can even named every one in the group and she likes the theme song of Meteor Garden II.
admin: lol. our grannies could get along very well!